Mom Knows Best

by Mandy Seley
Mandy\'s avatar

 She’d just read mystery book where the murder weapon was an icicle. They threw it into a lake to let the evidence melt. I hope that’s where she came up with that, anyway…

(Still trying different things for Inktober – only black ink this time!)

Fox\'s avatar

I mean, under that same line of thinking you could just make an ice mace and bludgeon them to death too. Icicles are too brittle.
And why wasn’t the lake frozen too?

51 comments on “Mom Knows Best”

  2. By the same woman who texted, “COCKS!” to her whole list! 🙂

    Freezing: Temp probably wasn’t drastically below the freezing point and the deep part of the ‘lake’ still retained too much heat to freeze over thoroughly.

    1. Speaking as someone who grew up on a farm, we’d icicles and a pond, but the pond would freeze over first. Icicles require repeated thaw/freeze cycles.

      Let’s be serious though–if you stab someone with an icicle, it’s gonna leave blood. If it’s cold enough for icicles and lakes to freeze, the blood is gonna freeze in place too, leaving evidence.
      If anything the damn blood would melt the icicle, honestly. It’s 98.6 degrees. Just leave the damn thing in the body.

        1. i played a murder mystery game the second case the murder weapon was a knife made of ice the killer threw it in a pot of boiling water calming to be making spaghetti they forgot to get every thing for it tho

          1. Was that one of those impromptu role-play murder mysteries where even the ‘killer’ and the game’s host did not know who the killer was? I played those twice (Fun!!) and both times the killer turned out to be…ME! (Does that say something about my potential? ;-))

  3. Bahahaha xD

    Re: the lake: yes, if it’s cold but not cold enough to freeze a thick layer, someone could just punch or stomp a hole straight through.

    You did awesome work with the black ink. I didn’t even realize until I read the comment that that was all you used!

  5. I’ve heard a riddle based around this, but can’t remember it properly. Something about a sauna, someone being stabbed and no weapon being found.

    As for the lake, its simple. One can make their own ice weapon at home, sharp enough to kill at any time of the year.

  6. I read a short story in college about a woman who beat her husband to death with a leg of lamb, cooked it and fed the murder weapon to the cops who came to investigate.

  7. My mom did this exact same thing. She went with the bludgeon idea though. I myself can’t stab an icicle more then an inch into dirt without it breaking, but if you plan is melting the evidence, just use lead…

    Lead prolly has it’s own flaw… Maybe Mom does know best…

    1. Sorry to reply to my own comment, but I just noticed the hatching. Dang, looks good. I really can‘t do that, and I’ve been using those little pokey-stylus pen things with the interchangeable nibs for ever!

    2. Lead leaves traces, which can easily be detected, because it shouldn’t normally be there. Water (from ice) is a natural component of a human body, so its presence is masked by the water that’s supposed to be there. Plus, after it melts, there’s no way to match wounds with a weapon. Result: not enough evidence to indict, let alone secure a conviction.

      1. I think you need to get rid of the body somehow too. Unless you own a pig farm or live near a volcano, I think your best bet is to use a good blender to turn them into mush one piece at a time, and flush them down the toilet.

    3. Eh, just mix the water with some hard poison and make the icicle, then either stab or use a blowgun to shoot the target with it (this last i saw on a movie)

  8. I remember reading a story in which a woman bludgeons her husband to death with a frozen leg of lamb, puts it in the oven to defrost and cook, and then goes out to establish an alibi run some errands. Last scene, the police detectives discuss what kind of muscle-bound freak could have flattened the victim, and how they’ll have to look for the murder weapon… while complementing the widow on the delicious lamb dinner she’s serving them. It really shouldn’t go to waste, after all.

  9. Ha-ha! High school Seley is so cute! I like the inking too, and that hatching kicks ass.

    On the subject of ice weapons, why not try making an ice crossbow? The string might require some creativity, though.

  11. Ha! I was thinking icicle too. Since it melts thus the murder weapon can not be traced. There was a radio mystery show where some guy was betting against the horses he helped raise and was cheating by shooting them during the race with a sliver of frozen tranquilizer from an air gun. This was so they would still seem normal at the start of the race.

  12. I love your work. That face in panel two is great. If you’re looking for inspiration on what you can do with just ink I would suggest looking at Zebra Girl. Great comic. Keep up the great work!

  14. “And why wasn’t the lake frozen too?” Fox, you’re just thinking too much. Obviously, the lake is in another part of the country where it wasn’t frozen. The murderer took the icicle, kept it in a portable, battery powered freezer until he/she arrived in the deep south, carried the icicle to the nearest lake and just threw it in. (If you believe that, I’ve got this bridge for sale. LOL.)

    1. Not necessary. Lakes and ponds freeze slowly, and only when the air above them is below freezing – and release a LOT of heat in the process, while air can’t hold a lot of heat, so if there isn’t much wind then that air gets warmed to 0 celsius pretty quickly and the freezing stops. Also, the water below the surface is warmer than the surface water – liquid water hits maximum density at about 4 degrees celsius, and expands from there to freezing – that heat will slowly transfer to help keep the surface liquid.

      This is why lakes freeze from the edges inward. If you can get close enough to the middle – a bridge can help – you can find liquid water unless it’s been notably below freezing for an extended period (details vary depending on which lake and how windy it has been).

      Turbulent rivers, such as those moving rapidly through areas of jagged rocks, also tend to stay liquid longer in cold weather. And are more likely to have bridges over them.

      Also, there are other venues for melting ice in winter. Drop it on a busy road, drop it in a toilet…

  15. High School Mandy?

    Can we vote that in as a new webcomic or something? PLEASE?!?

  17. I remember a Roald Dahl story where a housewife kills her husband with a frozen leg of lamb and then cooks it before feeding it to the police.

  18. Google ‘icicle “murder weapon” mystery’ for numerous fictional examples and Mythbusters’ debunking of the possibility. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. Die Hard 2 (self-defense, not murder). Initials Only by Anna Katharine Green. ‘The Tea Leaf’ by Edgar Jepson & Robert Eustace. Etc.

    1. Wasn’t the Mythbusters episode about the ice bullet or did they do one on the icicle, too?

  20. If you took the effort to *make* an ice murder weapon, I’ll betcha you could reinforce it enough to work. A simple cylinder with post-tensioning to put it in compression… Like Cement, Ice has no strength in tension…

  21. Eh, the best murder weapon is a gun. It has range and is very effective against most humans.
    …
    Oh, you meant kill someone without anyone knowing it was you? Sorry, you need a rogue for that, subtlety is not my forte, if I want someone dead, I don’t particularly care who knows it was me.
    Here, take my Villian Card.

  22. The important question is… ‘Did you clean your room?’
    Cause if you didn’t, then that information might be something ‘mom’ needs to know.

  23. I read a story about an astronomer who used telescope parts to build a *really* powerful spotlight, and used it to
    kill his wife’s lover. He knew the road the guy used at night, pointed the light at a dangerous curve five miles away,
    and zapped the lover at the critical moment, causing the car to run off a cliff.
    Disassembled the light and put the parts back in the ‘scope.
    Try to trace -that- murder weapon.

  24. It frightened more that it should…

    Perfect murder weapon? BEES!

  25. Was she asking your advice or setting up to tell you some trivia? Either way that’s unsettling out of the blue!

    1. edit: Ignore that question I’ve read the caption beneath the comic now. Sorry, slow day.

  26. Perfect murder weapon….
    ….does being forced to listen to “My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles” or “Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning” by Grunthos the Flatulent count…?

    1. That’s listed as a, outlawed, cruel and unusual execution technique in 7 galaxies.

  29. If you really want to go down that route Pykrete is your best bet.

  31. Actually fiber reinforced Iceman say fabric or sawdust oreven straw, would be tough, strong, and melt more slowly, giving you more time to work with it.

    1. Wouldn’t Iceman fabric be weak to electrical shock? Or Thunder Beam? *rimshot*

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