1. Greyryder

    I’m reminded of a guy I knew, growing up, who’s mother once asked him to flip the light off.

    • Xezlec

      Did he survive?

      • Greyryder

        He lived long enough to tell me the tale, at least.

  2. Taolan

    Depending on what kind of light switches you have, this can be a valid strategy.

  3. brighttail

    I do this with my wife. She finds it as funny as you do probably. Of course the alternate version is “turn on the light” and me saying, “Wow what a slender switch you have” and “I love your curves”.

    • SiLverMask

      Best be ready with a smart response for the day your wife installs a remote switch for the light and turns it on when you do that.. or hell, install one so you can turn it on after your one liner…

  4. Iron Ed
    Iron Ed

    My friend’s son: “Make me a hamburger!”
    My friend: “POOF! You’re a hamburger!”

    (really happened)

    • Traveller

      Don: “Call me a cab.”
      Cosmo: “Okay, you’re a cab.”

      Singin’ In The Rain (1952)

      • Iron Ed
        Iron Ed

        🙂 Waay too long since I saw that movie. I remember almost nothing about it, ‘cept Fred(?) dancing around a lamp post in the rain. 🙂

  5. Thisguy

    I once had a teacher who told me to “pull up your socks”, so, being a daydreaming, yet literal minded kid, I pulled my socks up… took me years to realise why I got in trouble for doing as the teacher said.

    Basically, there are some very literal minded, non jokers, out there, who, if you ask us to do something, will do exactly as you ask, and then look confused/hurt, when you tell us to stop being smart (which is also a stupid phrase).

    • Xezlec

      I had never heard that expression until today. Had to Google it. So I guess I would have gotten in trouble too.

    • Glenn

      Well, they’re being nice when they say that. They don’t want to say, “Don’t be a smartass.” But, I get that phrase all the time. I have a relatively quick mind, as well as wit, and I respond to things said quicker than most people can think. LOL.

    • Traveller

      Never heard of that one. Looked it up, apparently it’s a Britishism. I would have been baffled.

      • Thisguy

        Yeah, Australians have taken a lot of sayings from the British.

        • Rateus

          Yay Britishisms! We have the best isms 🙂

          Pull your socks up is politer than get your ass into gear, but I can see how it’s more obtuse!

          • Thisguy

            Nah, I reckon that Australians have the best isms, we take from countries here and there (particularly the British Isles), add our own stuff, and voila, language no one else can understand.

        • Traveller

          And sometimes they get exported back the other direction.

          I grew up on a ranch, and there were plenty of sheep around. Calling someone a dagg wasn’t unheard of.

    • roguebfl

      Weird, I had plenty of Teachers say that to me, but they did mean it literally, as it was against the school uniform code to wear our socks saggy

  6. VulpineWarrior-91

    Well, at least Seley didn’t suggest that she and Fox “hit the town”…

    • Wolfgirl

      FOX SMASH!

  7. Glenn

    Well, Seley, you knew what you were getting yourself into when you exchanged vows with that man. But, I do wonder what Fox would have done had you not stopped him. LOL.

  8. Katnik

    Just don’t ask him to crack the window !

  9. Spector

    “Now what do I use the bat or the tire iron….”

  10. glmdgrielson

    Eh, I know there’s a lamp you activate by shooting it.

  11. Ebonbolt

    “Kill the light” is probably even more hazardous…

    • darevenin

      Mister Bean does this every night… WITH GUNS!

  12. BlueAnubis

    Joke as old as time
    Song as old as ryme
    Kitty an the Fox

    • Fox

      Well, now that’s gonna be stuck in my head

  13. attic rat
    attic rat

    At least you’re not dealing with catchphrases someone invented and expects the world to understand. I once asked my boss what brand of power drill he’d prefer we get, and he replied, “Buy the Binford.”
    To explain: Binford is a fictional brand from an old TV series, which used Sears Craftsman brand tools with the logos changed as props. My boss was an avid fan of that TV series, so “Binford” meant “Craftsman.”

    • IBTYComics

      I guess your boss had a home improvement project that needed more power.

      • Taolan

        My father-in-law actually has a Binford jacket.

        At least your boss is consistent in his metaphor.

  14. Uncle Bilbo
    Uncle Bilbo

    I’ve heard that old expression ‘Punch out your lights’ which usually means something else. Florescent or incandescent?

  15. Ed Rhodes
    Ed Rhodes

    I remember “Get Smart,” when they introduced Hymie the Robot. Max didn’t yet know Hymie was a robot and would take everything literally, so as they’re leaving the closet where they were sharing information, Max says; “Hymie, kill the light.” and walks out. Hymie pulls out his silenced automatic and… kills the light.

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