Mandy\'s avatar

Maybe if I had a tank…?

Related note: I think there’s something fundamentally wrong with sparkly clean pickup trucks.

Fox\'s avatar

A warning to those who would comment: Before you do, realize we’re well aware of the meanings behind the Gadsden flag and the groups with which it is associated. This is a comic, and the joke is the literal interpretation of the wording given the vehicle. This is not your opportunity to impart wisdom you believe we’re lacking. We avoid political discussions on this comic. This includes discussing what you believe our own to be.

All you need know is we believe:
–There are people who get bad breaks who need help.
–There are those who abuse power.
–All should uphold the definition of the words: “liberty and justice for all“.

Those five words, the last especially, are all too often forgotten or perverted to further the agendas of others.

For everyone else, Google ‘Gadsden flag’.

75 comments on “Gadsden

  1. I have a near 20 year old Cadillac sedan that for various reasons got mud all over it. I was tampted to leave it and park next to every clean “monster” truck I could find and take a picture. There seems to be quite a few around where I live.

    1. I love old American luxury cars. 200,000 feet long, wider than a cruise ship, made out of steel sheets from old WWII tanks.

      1. Yeah, I had an ’84 Lincoln Town Car about 10 years ago. It got something like 30 yards to the gallon. I finally figured it was cheaper to sell it for $25 to be made into a cube, and bought a Dodge Caravan. Holds more, handles and parks easier and MUCH more comfortable getting in and out. (especially with my back and knee problems) I don’t love old American luxury cars any more.

        1. 20 years old isn’t nearly as “old” as it used to be. Its a 97 seville. I get decent gas milage and I still tend to overestimate how skinny the car is when parking. Its still a foot longer than my sister’s Grand Cherokee, but I like it that way.

  2. Yes, sparkly clean large pickup trucks just feel “weird”. You’d think the ones that are clearly designed to be able to go off-road would have at least a smidge of mud on them somewhere.

    1. When I bought my brand new ’84 CJ-7 I made darn sure it got dirty before I drove over to my friend’s house to show it off. πŸ™‚

      1. My next vehicle purchase is prolly gonna be an old Wrangler.
        Something that can go off-road that doesn’t have a ton of electronics.
        Maybe not quite as old as 84.

          1. πŸ™‚ Almost bought one of these instead of my CJ-7. πŸ™‚

        1. LOL! No electronics?? I bought my CJ on memories of Grandpa’s ol’ 1947 CJ-2A! πŸ™‚

  3. There’s always a bigger monster truck… >.>

    I am reminded of seeing a picture of a big demon monster covered head to toe in the spikiest spikes there ever were, followed by a caption along the lines of “Remember, species are covered in spike to dissuade predators. This is not the one you should be worried about.”

    1. Reminds me of a fantasy short-
      story by Alan Dean Foster about hunting jackalopes. πŸ™‚

  4. I’ve seen this before. Monster mudder tires, that buzz on pavement; massive suspension lift, winch, brush guard, heavy duty bumpers. Never goes off road….

    From what I’ve seen, most of the guys that actually off road in their trucks, don’t tend to use them for daily drivers.

    1. I have had two lifted trucks; they are awful in every way.

      – The lift robs all power, which is made worse by increased wind resistance
      – the tires are insanely heavy, which puts massive stress on the steering pump if when you are in a parking lot.
      – the road noise is DEAFENING; a guy I lent my truck to actually blew out the stereo system when he was driving windows down
      – go big or go home; unless you’re using the MOST expensive kit, you WILL have problems with the lift.
      – I’m not even going to go into diesel consumption (woe to you … WOE if you buy a gas powered HD truck and lift it. WOOOOOE)

      No thanks. Any of you thinking of lifting a truck, don’t. Just … don’t.
      As a kid, I LOVED lifted trucks.
      Until I got one.

      1. I love the look of them, too. But, I wouldn’t want to actually drive one.

        There are a few people out there that went from driving real trucks off road, to driving hobby grade RC trucks off road. Even if you go all out, an drop over a grand into a scale crawler rig, it’s still cheaper and easier to live with than the real ones.

        If you look up the RC Athletes channel on YouTube, that guy is one of them.

  5. Y’know, a tank would be pretty effective at “tread”ing on things.

    1. Tanks are road legal in many states. You just need to make sure your tank is wearing rubber soles on the treads, so as to not tear up the pavement πŸ™‚

      1. “so as to not tear up the pavement” – – – as much.

  6. Hold on. Let me just pull out my cheat paper for GTA codes

    Remember those things? I sure do

    1. 1967 Mustang GT with Automatic transmission? (…just kidding, ‘cuz I don’t know what else a GTA code is. :-))

      1. Grand theft auto, the original games always had cheat codes for doing crazy things like driving a tank down the road for starters

  7. Alright! Now’s my opportunity to impart a bunch of political nonsense information I believe you are lacking!

    1. My opinion of your opinion slightly differs. Let us start a completely inappropriate flame war with one another until the site moderator kicks us both out!

      1. I don’t really have a strong opinion one way or the other, but I’m upset that both of you think you are entitled to one despite what I see as your lack of evidence either way. I will proceed to argue with both of you and then start flaming you both about your tone.

        1. I am tired of the inane retreads of the same political points that have been raised over and over many times before, and propose hitting you all with a stick.

          1. Now, now… That’s the kind of casual talk that will get sticks outlawed!

          2. I’ll be an anomymous(e) spammer advertising a shady deal on replica whacking-sticks that look just like the name-brand models.

    1. I’m not sure a steamroller could. The bumper of that truck is high enough the steamroller would probably push under the truck. Some of the larger construction machines might be able to lift themselves enough to tread on it. Also, megamachines like the NASA crawler wouldn’t have any trouble.

  8. You know what I love to see; when someone’s hooked up this crazy lift kit to this small pickup with these little itty bitty tires… looks so funny. makes me laugh every time… reminds me of a spider on his tip toes…

    1. πŸ™‚ Used to be a couple of full-size pickups like that in Raleigh, NC back when big lifts first got popular. I could reach out and touch the driveshaft, while standing, but it had stock size tires. πŸ™‚

    2. I got one even funnier. Old Nissan 280z with a monster lift kit and what looked like tractor tires rolling down mainstreet.

    3. How about one I saw? A semi-tractor that had the 5th wheel replaced with a pickup bed.

        1. Actually, I was responding to Tails. Thread nesting is a bit odd.
          But yes, seen the big rig pickup conversions before too.

    1. You need an M 571 Gamma Goat. Drove one for years in the Army. One reason I’m pretty much deaf. Mine was an M 792 ambulance version.

        1. Grandpa had WWII Jeeps up in the Kentucky hills. Both Willys and Ford at various times. πŸ™‚

          1. Didn’t matter if they were made by Wills or Ford. They were made from the same plans. I’ll still love to have one.

  9. “I think there’s something fundamentally wrong with sparkly clean pickup trucks.”

    I bought my current truck in early 2011. It hasn’t been washed since. πŸ˜›

  10. If that was depicted more realistically, it would not be parked like that. Down here in Texas, that thing would also have a handicap tag on it, too even if said person would have a hell of a time crawling into it.

    1. and/or parked straddling the line of two parking spots. Gotta make sure your fenders don’t get dinged!

  11. I wonder if, when he/she left the parking lot, they didn’t just run over the fence in front of them.

  12. I tend to really scrub my jeep clean after off road adventures. Don’t want any rust or mud building up in my bearings. Mud is definitely the worst for 4x4s I can tell ya that much.

  13. Each time I attend a local gun show, these road locomotives are there. Sometimes the owners even manage to occupy one parking place. Well, parking is free at this event. A must-have in case the roads are impassible for more than a day, and you need to get out for beer, smokes, and beef jerky ‘cuz you didn’t stock up before the snowstorm.

  14. There’s a lot of those trucks β€” lifted suspension, giant off road tires, custom chrome bumpers, etc. β€” around where I live. Given they’re owned by mostly rich teenagers with entitlement issues, we refer to them as “Daddy loves me trucks.”

  15. I used to have a ’97 Ford Ranger XLT. That thing was hardly ever clean as not only was it my daily driver but I used it for what a pickup is meant for; hauling stuff! It is amazing how much stuff you can find that needs to be hauled when you own a pickup, even was doing landscaping and needed a huge load of dirt so literally hauled around dirt.

  16. Treading on large pickup trucks is why the Empire invented the AT-AT.

  17. It may be presumptuous of me but I just want to thank you for keeping the “justice and equality for all” part in your minds.

  18. All the political opinion that ever really needs to be spoken by anyone who doesn’t work in politics. I salute you both! Liberty and justice for all.

  19. I’ve owned a truck–I used it to haul stuff, ’cause that’s what trucks are for. I guess the jacked-up ones are good for driving through deep puddles, but we don’t get many deep puddles here. Bravo for enjoying life any way you do.

  20. How about them pickles? Pickles are great aren’t they? Sour, crunchy, and no political bias. Best random snack ever.

  21. Even sillier are those Crown Vics or Caprice Classics with a lift kit and really huge rims, and condoms for tires.

    1. I always thought those looked like something from the K-Mart toy department. πŸ™‚

  22. Story time!
    I work in a hotel, and one fine evening, one of these monstrosities pulls up. It’s huge, it’s red, it looks like it could eat Hummers for breakfast. It is jacked up to absurdity and beyond.
    Then the driver clambers out.
    He is maybe five-four, and 90 pounds soaking wet. Despite being whiter than sour cream, he is fully attired in traditional ‘gangsta’ attire. Including enough rhinestone ‘bling’ to fully stock a Claire’s Boutique, baggy pants that you could fit another three of him into, backwards cap.. it’s like a Mini-Me of Vanilla Ice. In full ‘street’ jargon, and flashing a fat wad (which I suspect to be a pile of ones with a twenty on the outside, he inquires about rates. Taking a note of the fed up looking lady du jour in the passenger seat, I quote him our standard rate for the evening while trying desperately not to laugh at him. This proves to be too much for Mr Overcompensation, and he sulkily climbs back into his monstrosity.

    1. Sounds suspiciously like a -rented- “lady du jour”. πŸ™‚

  23. Perhaps the truck is protesting that enough is enough and if it were souped up any further it would end up with treads on it :V

  24. In our country there aren’t many pick-up trucks, as our roads don’t really allow for them, nor the gas prices do. But what we do have, are 4×4’s. Some from Jeep, others from Suzuki, but more from those off-brands such as BMW, Porsche, Nissan etc.
    Those are also always squeaky clean, and always driven by elitist assholes.
    People that cut off bicyclists because they’re too hasty to wait an extra second, and a second later prevents same bicyclist from crossing the road because he takes up the bicycle lane waiting on crossing traffic.

  25. the only thing worse than a pickup that is clean is a pickup that has been lowered. really? a pickup lowrider? you just defeated the WHOLE purpose of a pickup.

  26. You know, any time I see one of those trucks that’s bigger than two cars stacked on top of each other, or hear bass that rattles the windows, or someone peeling out at a stoplight, I just want to yell “your junk is still tiny! Get over yourself!”

  27. I’ve owned a few ratty little pickups in my time. One was an ’80 VW Rabbit “SportTruck”. I got it for free, as it had been sunk in the Tennessee River for six months. Best beater ever and parking was never an issue, nobody would park next to it. Had to wash it monthly though; it was mostly faded red and brown primer, but it would turn green due to the biome it picked up in the river.

    My new Frontier was bought to haul things. Tonight, I had to haul server racks to a datacenter across town. My coworkers own an Avalanche and a Crew Cab Ram. Amusingly, neither of their trucks were suitable so I did the hauling. Go figure.

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